Getting Your Fill
FROM JEN: I have been reading your book and saw that you started exercise before changing your eating habits. How long do you recommend just exercising before adding in the nutrition? I have started walking outside every night for an hour and mall-walking during the day three times a week for a half hour. I try to make sensible choices, but I have a large appetite and eat in large quantities. In fact, that has been what has sparked the need for a change. I've noticed that no matter what I eat, I don't feel satisfied. I don't mean that I'm hungry, it's like the food didn't fill up whatever I am trying to fill. I realize this is an emotional issue and I need to look at what is missing. But, I know that if I try to change too much in the beginning, adding in a strict low-calorie diet to the new routine of exercising, I will fall off the wagon. Any advice would be appreciated.
DEAR JEN: Thanks for writing. It sounds to me like you are doing exactly what you need to do ... focusing on committing to exercise as a start. I really waited about a year before getting serious about my diet, which is when I went on Weight Watchers. I think everyone is different, though. To me, the important thing is for you to start FEELING a change inside before you begin to make too many dietary changes. I had really started to feel powerful, less like a victim of my appetite (and I can totally relate to the need to eat big portions!) before I did Weight Watchers. By the time I did WW, I had started running, and really challenging myself, working towards goals and seeing myself as being successful. I'm thinking that you might benefit from finding a plan that gives some structure to your exercise program--that gives you goals to work toward. Seeing yourself reaching those goals might help you "fill" what's missing inside ... or at least get you closer to identifying what it is that you really need.
I think that those of us who overeat often have needs and feelings we can't really identify. I remember a therapist once asking me how I felt about a huge issue in my life ... and I couldn't even answer her. I was so focused on figuring out how other people around me were feeling that I had no clue how I felt, what I needed, what I wanted. I didn't go to therapy when I was in my intensive weight-loss mode, but AFTER I lost ... and I still had this issue. So it is extremely common, I think.
So, my advice is two-fold: First: Stick with your exercise plan, but look for a goal to work toward. Here are a couple of suggestions:
--Sign up for a 5k walk and train for it. Lots of great walks are coming up, especially in May ... here is a training program by a guy named Hal Higdon, a great running/walking coach.
--Schedule a walking vacation. When you're making your summer vacation plans, focus on "walkable" cities and use the 5k training plan above to "train" to be a tourist.
--Walk with other moms. "Strollercize" fitness classes are all the rage. Check out this article in Health magazine about the trend, and see if there's a group in your area.
--Walk a marathon. Now, this might sound crazy--and I know you have a baby, so it will be tough to carve out the time. But I want to plant this seed. Women all over the world are walking marathons, many through Team in Training, a group that raises money for the Leukemia Society. Here is a link for them. Also, here is a link to a training program from Mark Fenton, a friend of mine and expert walking coach.
Second ... to address the emotional side ... you might want to consider therapy or a support group like Overeaters Anonymous. I hope this doesn't offend you ... I know some people don't like to think that they need this kind of help. As I said, I didn't really seek help until after I lost the weight, and I have seen therapists off and on now for about 18 years, mostly to help me through rough spots in my life. I have always felt like therapy is an extra infusion of strength--it helps shore me up when I doubt myself, and affirms what I already know about myself but may just be too afraid to admit it to anyone else.
Thanks again for writing and be strong ... you are moving in the right direction. Keep believing in yourself!
Lisa D
DEAR JEN: Thanks for writing. It sounds to me like you are doing exactly what you need to do ... focusing on committing to exercise as a start. I really waited about a year before getting serious about my diet, which is when I went on Weight Watchers. I think everyone is different, though. To me, the important thing is for you to start FEELING a change inside before you begin to make too many dietary changes. I had really started to feel powerful, less like a victim of my appetite (and I can totally relate to the need to eat big portions!) before I did Weight Watchers. By the time I did WW, I had started running, and really challenging myself, working towards goals and seeing myself as being successful. I'm thinking that you might benefit from finding a plan that gives some structure to your exercise program--that gives you goals to work toward. Seeing yourself reaching those goals might help you "fill" what's missing inside ... or at least get you closer to identifying what it is that you really need.
I think that those of us who overeat often have needs and feelings we can't really identify. I remember a therapist once asking me how I felt about a huge issue in my life ... and I couldn't even answer her. I was so focused on figuring out how other people around me were feeling that I had no clue how I felt, what I needed, what I wanted. I didn't go to therapy when I was in my intensive weight-loss mode, but AFTER I lost ... and I still had this issue. So it is extremely common, I think.
So, my advice is two-fold: First: Stick with your exercise plan, but look for a goal to work toward. Here are a couple of suggestions:
--Sign up for a 5k walk and train for it. Lots of great walks are coming up, especially in May ... here is a training program by a guy named Hal Higdon, a great running/walking coach.
--Schedule a walking vacation. When you're making your summer vacation plans, focus on "walkable" cities and use the 5k training plan above to "train" to be a tourist.
--Walk with other moms. "Strollercize" fitness classes are all the rage. Check out this article in Health magazine about the trend, and see if there's a group in your area.
--Walk a marathon. Now, this might sound crazy--and I know you have a baby, so it will be tough to carve out the time. But I want to plant this seed. Women all over the world are walking marathons, many through Team in Training, a group that raises money for the Leukemia Society. Here is a link for them. Also, here is a link to a training program from Mark Fenton, a friend of mine and expert walking coach.
Second ... to address the emotional side ... you might want to consider therapy or a support group like Overeaters Anonymous. I hope this doesn't offend you ... I know some people don't like to think that they need this kind of help. As I said, I didn't really seek help until after I lost the weight, and I have seen therapists off and on now for about 18 years, mostly to help me through rough spots in my life. I have always felt like therapy is an extra infusion of strength--it helps shore me up when I doubt myself, and affirms what I already know about myself but may just be too afraid to admit it to anyone else.
Thanks again for writing and be strong ... you are moving in the right direction. Keep believing in yourself!
Lisa D
posted by Lisa Delaney at
8:01 AM
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