Fear of failure

A FUTURE FORMER FAT GIRL WRITES: I purchased your book and have read about a third of it. I can relate to your examples and how you used to think and feel about food. I've just started running and then walking and then running... because I can't run consistently yet. I plan to do that 3 times a week in addition to other exercise. Here is my greatest fear/and question...I'm terrified of putting all of this effort in and not being happy with the end result (seriously this is not a cop out). I'm 5 foot 7 and played basketball in High School and started packing on the pounds (granted my eating habits were less than perfect). Can you guarantee that if I follow the advice in this book that I will be lean versus bulky? I want to be healthy, lean and get this monkey off my back. I want to feel as though I've succeeded for the long run (no pun intended).

DEAR FUTURE FFG: I completely get it. I think the fear of FINALLY committing and finding out, in the end, that we can't get what we want keeps lots of us from starting our journey in the first place. Sometimes just seems easier to stay where we are (however unsatisfied we are) than to go for it.

I'm not sure I can guarantee you will be happy with the end result, but I can help. First, you've gotta get your head around what you expect that result to be. Do you want the body you had in high school? What's your lifestyle like now? Are you training like you did then--and do you even want to? I would suggest (and this is not a cop out either) thinking through where you really want to end up, and make it less about a number on the scale or a jeans size, and more about getting to a place where you can run three miles (or whatever distance you want to start with) without stopping, lifting weights a couple of days a week, etc. Set your sights on creating the healthy life you want to have, and once you've reached them, start upping the ante--increasing your exercise intensity, making some diet-related goals, etc.

I hope you aren't rolling your eyes about now. Sure, my book is about losing weight, but a big part of that is defining your expectations and tying your goals more to the process than to that body you want in the end. When I started this journey, I had NO idea what would happen--I just committed to try. Just stay focused on those short term goals, on the next step. It may sound stupid, but just noting on your calendar when you've exercised, or giving yourself points toward some reward, will help keep your eyes trained on those tangible goals.

One more thing that might help keep you motivated to exercise: I've read some interesting research that suggests that women and men who were high school and college athletes might need a bit of competition to keep them motivated. You know--you go from a goal-oriented, competitive team activity like basketball to something like running, or aerobics, or weight training, where there's not exactly an opponent to conquer. You might want to think about how to fuel your competitive fire--find a team activity (once you feel like you've got a good fitness base), enter a 5k (plenty of people run/walk those!), even take a class like kickboxing (you can let off steam punching out an imaginary enemy!).

Good luck--and please let me know whether this helps, and how you're doing on your journey!

Lisa D