Keepin' It Real
I'm baaaaack!
I can't tell you how bad I feel for being so scarce lately. But I'm just going to assume you guys forgive me and move on (easier said than done for us FFGs, right?).
Anyway.
I've been trying out a new mantra lately. Those of you who have read the book know about INO--It's Not an Option. I've gotten lots of notes and comments from FFGs and Future FFGs who have made INO their own (good for you!). As you know, I'm into mantras--I guess because I'm a big believer in the power of words to change behavior, thinking, attitudes ... the world, basically. But I also have pretty high standards for mantras ... I won't sign on to anything that isn't completely right. So, for the last couple months, I've been thinking a lot about WHAT IS REAL. I've long been intrigued by the notion that it's so difficult to see your body as it really is--especially, I think, if you're a FFG. It's that whole idea put out there in that rather bad but sort of good movie, Shallow Hal, where Jack Black sees Gwyneth Paltrow as a completely beautiful, perfectly proportioned woman, when everyone else saw a dumpy, lumpy, acne-scarred fat girl. A funny, nice, wonderful fat girl, but a fat girl.
The interesting thing about this is that Black's character is looking at her through the lens of love ... How many of us can do that for ourselves? I wouldn't say I necessarily look at my body through the lens of hate, but I'm an editor ... I'm trained to look for flaws to fix. Or maybe I'm an editor because that's how I'm wired in the first place. So when I'm staring in the mirror, my radar zeros in on the imperfections ... even now, at my Former Fat Girl fighting weight.
And I know it's not just me. I was signing books in Chicago in July, and a woman came up to me and said "I bet I know what the book is about--how you never really see yourself as thin even after you lose the weight." She went on to say she had lost about 60 pounds and was a Former Fat Girl too. I've also gotten questions and posts about this same issue.
I'm also becoming more and more convinced that we FFGs have trouble figuring out WHAT IS REAL in other parts of our lives too. I wrote a couple of posts ago about a decision I was facing ... a situation I was trying to resolve. I have been stuck in a place career-wise that hasn't been good for me ... and I've been there for a LONG time. TOO LONG. Oh, on paper, I have it great. But the REALITY of it isn't. I have thought about making a change several times, and have even gone so far to interview for other jobs and everything--even getting some offers. But I always get sucked back in by the possibility that things will get better. That one good meeting, that one great idea, that one great project that makes me think ... yeah, here it is. THIS is what I'm here for.
But it never lasts.
So I've had this opportunity to make a change, and I've decided to take it--to jump back into the un-comfort zone. I'll be working for a non-profit company devoted to using the internet to get crucial, life-changing information about health and wellness (among other things) to low-income Americans. I'm can't-wait-to-get-started excited/what-if-I-suck-at-it scared. But (to quote Martha) it's a good thing. As I'm leaving this company that I've been working for for the past 11 years, where I've learned so much, done so much--even though I know that leaving is the right thing--I have those fleeting "oh, maybe it would be different" impulses that cloud the reality of what it has been like, day to day, for me there. So I've been stuck on this new mantra, KEEP IT REAL, for the last month or so. And I think I'll keep it in my FFG tool box. Because I know I have issues with KEEPING IT REAL ... with my body, with people (ie, knowing who my friends really are), with motives (am I saying "yes" so everyone will like me, or because I really WANT to?), with EVERYTHING.
Oh, and the other thing about this new gig is that I'm working from my home, four days a week. What will I be doing on that 5th day? Writing my blog. Working on this site, implementing all those ideas I've told you about. Pulling together a new FFG book. Planning retreats. Creating groups. So you will be hearing from me regularly--I promise--from now on.
Keep it real, girls--
Lisa D
I can't tell you how bad I feel for being so scarce lately. But I'm just going to assume you guys forgive me and move on (easier said than done for us FFGs, right?).
Anyway.
I've been trying out a new mantra lately. Those of you who have read the book know about INO--It's Not an Option. I've gotten lots of notes and comments from FFGs and Future FFGs who have made INO their own (good for you!). As you know, I'm into mantras--I guess because I'm a big believer in the power of words to change behavior, thinking, attitudes ... the world, basically. But I also have pretty high standards for mantras ... I won't sign on to anything that isn't completely right. So, for the last couple months, I've been thinking a lot about WHAT IS REAL. I've long been intrigued by the notion that it's so difficult to see your body as it really is--especially, I think, if you're a FFG. It's that whole idea put out there in that rather bad but sort of good movie, Shallow Hal, where Jack Black sees Gwyneth Paltrow as a completely beautiful, perfectly proportioned woman, when everyone else saw a dumpy, lumpy, acne-scarred fat girl. A funny, nice, wonderful fat girl, but a fat girl.
The interesting thing about this is that Black's character is looking at her through the lens of love ... How many of us can do that for ourselves? I wouldn't say I necessarily look at my body through the lens of hate, but I'm an editor ... I'm trained to look for flaws to fix. Or maybe I'm an editor because that's how I'm wired in the first place. So when I'm staring in the mirror, my radar zeros in on the imperfections ... even now, at my Former Fat Girl fighting weight.
And I know it's not just me. I was signing books in Chicago in July, and a woman came up to me and said "I bet I know what the book is about--how you never really see yourself as thin even after you lose the weight." She went on to say she had lost about 60 pounds and was a Former Fat Girl too. I've also gotten questions and posts about this same issue.
I'm also becoming more and more convinced that we FFGs have trouble figuring out WHAT IS REAL in other parts of our lives too. I wrote a couple of posts ago about a decision I was facing ... a situation I was trying to resolve. I have been stuck in a place career-wise that hasn't been good for me ... and I've been there for a LONG time. TOO LONG. Oh, on paper, I have it great. But the REALITY of it isn't. I have thought about making a change several times, and have even gone so far to interview for other jobs and everything--even getting some offers. But I always get sucked back in by the possibility that things will get better. That one good meeting, that one great idea, that one great project that makes me think ... yeah, here it is. THIS is what I'm here for.
But it never lasts.
So I've had this opportunity to make a change, and I've decided to take it--to jump back into the un-comfort zone. I'll be working for a non-profit company devoted to using the internet to get crucial, life-changing information about health and wellness (among other things) to low-income Americans. I'm can't-wait-to-get-started excited/what-if-I-suck-at-it scared. But (to quote Martha) it's a good thing. As I'm leaving this company that I've been working for for the past 11 years, where I've learned so much, done so much--even though I know that leaving is the right thing--I have those fleeting "oh, maybe it would be different" impulses that cloud the reality of what it has been like, day to day, for me there. So I've been stuck on this new mantra, KEEP IT REAL, for the last month or so. And I think I'll keep it in my FFG tool box. Because I know I have issues with KEEPING IT REAL ... with my body, with people (ie, knowing who my friends really are), with motives (am I saying "yes" so everyone will like me, or because I really WANT to?), with EVERYTHING.
Oh, and the other thing about this new gig is that I'm working from my home, four days a week. What will I be doing on that 5th day? Writing my blog. Working on this site, implementing all those ideas I've told you about. Pulling together a new FFG book. Planning retreats. Creating groups. So you will be hearing from me regularly--I promise--from now on.
Keep it real, girls--
Lisa D
