The Flip Side
Hi, all--
I just returned from a short long weekend (you know what I mean ... they're always shorter than you want them to be!) at our house in Bham. My son was down at my inlaws, so my husband and I had some nice adult time in a REAL home ... not that temporary space in Nashville. Although according to my feng shui expert friend Ellen Whitehurst, to finally sell our house I need to let go, and start thinking of it as "that living space." Hey, I'll try anything.
So we spent the weekend in that living space in Bham. And during that time, I got to talk to my mother-in-law, who was recently diagnosed as pre-diabetic. Now, the woman has been through a lot--she had breast cancer several years ago and is doing well, thank goodness. But I think she is having a really hard time dealing with the idea that she isn't as strong as she used to be. And I can certainly get that. And she has always (or since I've known her) been on the heavy side, and has at various times asked me for help. She had started walking and kept it up for a while, but quit. And now this. She was so depressed this weekend, feeling nauseated and sounding really tired and discouraged. So I am trying to help--sending her cookbooks, offering her suggestions, giving her my rah rah speech. It just so happens that I am working with a really great writer named Jon Katz on an essay about HIS diabetes problem, which, at age 60, he kicked by exercising and learning how to eat. I love Jon's take (I won't reveal much because the piece will be in the November issue of Spry). He was actually in a pretty dark place emotionally when he got the diagnosis ... but he saw it as an opportunity. It's almost as if, he says, he needed this excuse to finally get off his butt and start doing right by his body, and so he did.
I love that--I love that he just jumped on it and took charge of his own health. But as someone whose purpose in life and career is to help others find their way to good health, there's still the question: how do you get someone to flip that switch? To go from OH, NO! to OH, YES! I went through it myself ... hit my own bottom (well, you know what I mean!) and I can't get you there. I think the answer for me, anyway, is to continue to find and tell the stories of people who have turned it around, in the hopes that maybe reading those stories--mine, Jon's ... my mother-in-law's (thinking positively here)--will help someone, anyone, turn it around.
And, again, I am always looking for stories. It's amazing how many successes there are, if you only look for them. Drop me a note at lisa@formerfatgirl.com if you have one to share!
Salude!
Lisa D
I just returned from a short long weekend (you know what I mean ... they're always shorter than you want them to be!) at our house in Bham. My son was down at my inlaws, so my husband and I had some nice adult time in a REAL home ... not that temporary space in Nashville. Although according to my feng shui expert friend Ellen Whitehurst, to finally sell our house I need to let go, and start thinking of it as "that living space." Hey, I'll try anything.
So we spent the weekend in that living space in Bham. And during that time, I got to talk to my mother-in-law, who was recently diagnosed as pre-diabetic. Now, the woman has been through a lot--she had breast cancer several years ago and is doing well, thank goodness. But I think she is having a really hard time dealing with the idea that she isn't as strong as she used to be. And I can certainly get that. And she has always (or since I've known her) been on the heavy side, and has at various times asked me for help. She had started walking and kept it up for a while, but quit. And now this. She was so depressed this weekend, feeling nauseated and sounding really tired and discouraged. So I am trying to help--sending her cookbooks, offering her suggestions, giving her my rah rah speech. It just so happens that I am working with a really great writer named Jon Katz on an essay about HIS diabetes problem, which, at age 60, he kicked by exercising and learning how to eat. I love Jon's take (I won't reveal much because the piece will be in the November issue of Spry). He was actually in a pretty dark place emotionally when he got the diagnosis ... but he saw it as an opportunity. It's almost as if, he says, he needed this excuse to finally get off his butt and start doing right by his body, and so he did.
I love that--I love that he just jumped on it and took charge of his own health. But as someone whose purpose in life and career is to help others find their way to good health, there's still the question: how do you get someone to flip that switch? To go from OH, NO! to OH, YES! I went through it myself ... hit my own bottom (well, you know what I mean!) and I can't get you there. I think the answer for me, anyway, is to continue to find and tell the stories of people who have turned it around, in the hopes that maybe reading those stories--mine, Jon's ... my mother-in-law's (thinking positively here)--will help someone, anyone, turn it around.
And, again, I am always looking for stories. It's amazing how many successes there are, if you only look for them. Drop me a note at lisa@formerfatgirl.com if you have one to share!
Salude!
Lisa D
posted by Lisa Delaney at
5:05 PM
4 Comments:
With my many ups and downs in regards to weight...people want to know "how did you do it". I think they want you to say you have done something wreckless (diet pills or starvation, sorry I don't mean to judge - starvation is not right for me, hahah), or find some magic potion. The funny thing is that on my current "down" side to weight loss - people ask the question and I say "moving more and eating less", they look at me like I am lying. I actually had someone say, come on, how are you doing it really. With most folks you don't discuss Former Fat Girl and INO - but it really does work.
The fact is you can't make people have that internal motivation. I hate to say it, but it has taken me 20 years to figure that one out ( i have been begging people to do this weight loss thing for me!)! My mother in law is morbidly obese and sometimes I just want to grab her and hug her and say...Please stay here with us, stop abusing yourself this way!!! But I know that isn't going to help. We love her where she is in her life now, and try to talk about eating healthy but it is completely out of our control.
Bottom line is - I look for inspiration from people like you and Jon Katz. That is how I found Former Fat Girl. Believe it or not, I even am inspired by my mother in law. She serves as a reminder that the choices I make are going to lead to the life that I have now and in the future. There are no definites in life, but I darned well am going to do the things I can to control as much of my destiny as I can!
Cheers! Amie
I have yet to find a 'right' (I use that term loosely) to movtivate someone enough to make them actually commit to long term weight loss, and it is so frustrating!!! I am still going through the process of getting the weight off myself (60lbs down, 60ish more to go!!), and people look at me and compliment me, but as much as I would like to control their actions and haul them to the gym with me, I can't. It has to come down to their own personal low point, and their own decision to take the information I have given them then combine it with their own goals to actually make the investment in themselves. I have come to realize that even if I were to completely stack my friends and family's fridges with all the healthy stuff on the planet, they would still push past the lettuce and lean cuisines to get to the oreos and ice cream buried in back (well, let's face it - we all have days like that!). basically, as much as I want to try and change people - they have to make the changes themselves. They have to dig past the doublestuffs in their own lives (that's me being waxing-rapsodic - or at least a little philisophical!) and find the reason why they want to make the change, and then cling on to that reason long enough to actually make the changes necessary to begin the life they've dreamed of living.
Sorry to be a little lengthy - it is actually a topic I have been struggling a lot with lately, and was glad to see someone else dealing with the same issue. Guess I just got a little...excited(?) to see someone else in my boat! Eliz
FFFG (fellow former fat girl, lol!)
I just found your blog today while searching for information on fat celebrities and a previous blog post of yours came up, so I followed it....
I was in the middle of my own blog post, but came back to see what else you had written. The part of this post that moved me to comment was when you mention "hitting bottom" I wrote a blog post titled, "The Opposite of Rock Bottom" (03-08)
http://tracyrif.blogspot.com/2008_03_01_archive.html
The message was that I was tired of people asking me..."Did you finally hit rock bottom?" Geez, that makes me mad! Does being fat mean I'm near the bottom? Good Lord! Being fat was just a part of what my life experience was at the time, it didn't define everthing I was, and I certainly was no where near bottom.
I go on to explain that it was the exact opposite of rock bottom...I was having a good life, full of luck and love and I didn't have to want for anything....and I wanted it to stay that way!
I knew I was extremly overweight, and if I wanted to take full advantage of my good life then it was time for me to quit dodging those bullets of bad health, BEFORE it was too late.
I ended up losing over 120lbs by changing what and how I ate, and transformed my body along the way with exercise, at times weighing around 130lbs., with 17-19% bodyfat.
I too see part of my lifes' purpose to help others find good health...the body will follow....
I have two blogs, the original blog is mostly about my chosen form of exercise, and I started another this year, called Food and Thought, that focuses on....well, food and thought, lol!
Hey Lisa, just catching up on your blog. Congrats on the magazine and the website -- great work. Glad you've re-discovered biking. Maybe I'll see you out at Wildflower some year soon! :-) Take care, Melissa Cheung
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