The Year of I Don't Know
OK, so it's a month into 2008 and I'm just now writing about my New Year's resolutions. (Guess it's good that I didn't vow to tackle my propensity for procrastination or tendency to take liberties with the concept of time.)
Actually, I don't really make resolutions any more. Oh, I did vow to drink more water: I force myself to stand in the kitchen and down two 16 oz glasses at the start of every day. I think I'm in a perpetual state of dehydration, and front-loading helps me make a dent in it. (It's not exactly pleasant, though.)
Anyway, beyond those small-time vows, I have stopped doing resolutions. Instead, I do "theme years." The year I wrote my book, the theme was "All About Me." I chose that theme because I was determined to stop dreaming about writing a book, wishing wistfully for a little baby hardback to call my own. It was time to actually make it happen. I'd been thinking about writing Former Fat Girl for years--eight of them, actually. But other things, other obligations, usually obligations to other people, always got in the way. "All About Me" kind of kept me on task, gave me permission to take the time I needed to pursue that dream. And hey, it turned out pretty well, didn't it?
[Detour: Any of you FFGs out there who loved ... or even sort of liked ... the book, please go to Amazon.com and write a quick review. I have 18 reviews so far, and most are really good, but the last woman who wrote really zinged me. Said that all the positive reviews must have been written by my friends! And we know that's true, because I don't HAVE that many friends!]
So I do theme years. This year is The Year of I Don't Know. Allow me to explain: You know about the Un-Comfort Zone? That place where you are pushing yourself beyond your limits, your safe, secure, deadly boring limits? The limits that keep us from having the life we want to have, from losing the weight, from getting the job, from dating the man ... you know what I mean. Well, it's SO easy to slip back into that comfortable place without even knowing it. And it makes sense. The fact is that yesterday's challenge is today's rut. Unless we keep consciously and constantly pushing ourselves to seek out the new, we find ourselves back in that comfortable place.
I know me: I have this need to have all the answers. To be on top of it all. And while I have experienced the value of approaching this life as an adventure, I haven't been exactly living that way. Many of you know that I did make a career change last fall, and that was a big step. But part of the reason for adopting the I Don't Know theme is that I have this way of getting too committed to things way too fast, to shutting off my brain to other choices, other opportunities. (Maybe this is the dark side of INO.) Anyway, I am trying, this year, to suspend myself in this state of I Don't Know. To try to get back to where I am following my gut, listening to my instincts, trusting that the answers will come, instead of forcing them. Branding this The Year of I Don't Know reminds me that it's ok not to be so damn certain about everything.
Now ... I would love to know if any of you have themes for this year. Maybe this is The Year of I CAN! or The Year of YES! or (maybe even better) The Year of NO! Or it could be The Year I Travel to Italy and Decide Never to Return! The possibilities are endless.
What's your theme? Share it here.
Until next time ...
Lisa D
FFG, FKIA (Former Know-It-All)
Actually, I don't really make resolutions any more. Oh, I did vow to drink more water: I force myself to stand in the kitchen and down two 16 oz glasses at the start of every day. I think I'm in a perpetual state of dehydration, and front-loading helps me make a dent in it. (It's not exactly pleasant, though.)
Anyway, beyond those small-time vows, I have stopped doing resolutions. Instead, I do "theme years." The year I wrote my book, the theme was "All About Me." I chose that theme because I was determined to stop dreaming about writing a book, wishing wistfully for a little baby hardback to call my own. It was time to actually make it happen. I'd been thinking about writing Former Fat Girl for years--eight of them, actually. But other things, other obligations, usually obligations to other people, always got in the way. "All About Me" kind of kept me on task, gave me permission to take the time I needed to pursue that dream. And hey, it turned out pretty well, didn't it?
[Detour: Any of you FFGs out there who loved ... or even sort of liked ... the book, please go to Amazon.com and write a quick review. I have 18 reviews so far, and most are really good, but the last woman who wrote really zinged me. Said that all the positive reviews must have been written by my friends! And we know that's true, because I don't HAVE that many friends!]
So I do theme years. This year is The Year of I Don't Know. Allow me to explain: You know about the Un-Comfort Zone? That place where you are pushing yourself beyond your limits, your safe, secure, deadly boring limits? The limits that keep us from having the life we want to have, from losing the weight, from getting the job, from dating the man ... you know what I mean. Well, it's SO easy to slip back into that comfortable place without even knowing it. And it makes sense. The fact is that yesterday's challenge is today's rut. Unless we keep consciously and constantly pushing ourselves to seek out the new, we find ourselves back in that comfortable place.
I know me: I have this need to have all the answers. To be on top of it all. And while I have experienced the value of approaching this life as an adventure, I haven't been exactly living that way. Many of you know that I did make a career change last fall, and that was a big step. But part of the reason for adopting the I Don't Know theme is that I have this way of getting too committed to things way too fast, to shutting off my brain to other choices, other opportunities. (Maybe this is the dark side of INO.) Anyway, I am trying, this year, to suspend myself in this state of I Don't Know. To try to get back to where I am following my gut, listening to my instincts, trusting that the answers will come, instead of forcing them. Branding this The Year of I Don't Know reminds me that it's ok not to be so damn certain about everything.
Now ... I would love to know if any of you have themes for this year. Maybe this is The Year of I CAN! or The Year of YES! or (maybe even better) The Year of NO! Or it could be The Year I Travel to Italy and Decide Never to Return! The possibilities are endless.
What's your theme? Share it here.
Until next time ...
Lisa D
FFG, FKIA (Former Know-It-All)
posted by Lisa Delaney at
1:58 PM
10 Comments:
dear lisa,
I wish i was your friend, you are amazing, and your book is helping me change my life. Its INO not to excercise everyday. This year my theme is FIT AT FORTY. I am only 38 now, but i think its going to take awhile. This would be the first year that I have really WANTEd to do do it, instead of having to do it.
Thank you for your book so much, i am off yo amazon right now, to be added to your"friends" list hehe
Angela
Dearest Lisa,
I hope you don't mind, but I already consider you a friend, even thought we have never met. You are my "never met in person" friend who has literally changed my thoughts about food, therefore changing everything else.
Your dream of writing a book and all of the wonderful, beautiful words and experiences inside of those pages has given way to a thousand other dreams to those of us who read and loved it. I am learning too to have complete faith and belief that my dreams are coming true and to not worry about how it will happen, only to know that it absolutely will. You are so true and lovely and have given so much and are setting so many souls free. And it is unfolding to wonderful places. Keep going and we will too. Thank you, sweetest girl, and I'm off to Amazon review as well. Have a really great week.
Kelly
Hi Lisa,
I hadn't thought about a theme as a resolution. Last December, I made some specific goals (weight loss/finances/better relationship with God) but a theme is much better because it gives an umbrella of things we are working toward instead of everything hinging on one or two goals. :)
All of my resolutions revolve around one idea or theme:
“Learning to Love Myself”
I have never had a resolution like this. I have never thought I was a worthwhile person or that I deserved anything or anyone special in my life. Like you, I don't have many friends. In fact, I have no close friends at all, just "acquaintances." I have no boyfriend. I have put myself behind everyone else.
I even have a hard time identifying myself with my NAME. In other words, when I have to introduce myself and I give my name I really don't feel good about saying it, or know who that person is.
Is that odd?
Anyway, the weight loss I am doing for me. As I get skinnier (down 60 pounds from 208 to 146) I find my self-esteem is higher and I like being skinnier. Some days I feel like I can see my skinny-self peaking through and I can’t wait for the rest of my weight to come off. I’ve never been within 25 pounds of thinness – ever.
My financial goal is to pay off my $10,000 visa credit card balance. I am also doing this for me. It's time I took control of this unacceptable situation.
My relationship with God is also something I am doing for me. If He loves me unconditionally the least I can do to honor Him is try and love myself more.
I enjoy your blog. It is really inspiring for me.
Ann
Hey Lisa, I put in a word for your book on amazon! I liked your "I Dont Know" theme. Sounds awesome..live life as it comes!
Well, in my case, 2007 was the year of getting geared for exersize..starting slowly to lose weight and get healthly. In hind sight I lost only 30 odd pounds in 12 months but OMG, its done wonders for me. I have another 30 to go!
I have noticed since the past few days that if I dont work out I get crabby! withdrawal symptoms may be! Thats interesting..seems to me like I have become addicted to some thing good!
So this is my year of becoming an exersize fanatic! well, I am not that bad..may be border line obsessive but not all bad!
ok then..until next time.
Suj
Hi Lisa,
I read your book months ago, and the weight is coming off VERY slowly; however, I am still finding myself motivated by you, and by weight watchers. Maybe you think I am crazy but today on the inside of my wrist, I got a little tattoo- ino. Losing the weight and keeping it off will never be easy for me, so I concluded that I need something to remind me everyday of my life to stay motivated.
Thank you for your help and I enjoy you blog!
Nicole
PS. I reviewed on Amazon for you as well.
I had been wanting this to be the Year of the Baby, I've been trying to get pregnant for over a year, and really want a baby. Since I don't know if that will happen or not, I'm going to declare this The Year of Nesting, where I organize my house and finances and quite possibly a nursery : )
this is my year of the baby too.....it will have to be the year of weight loss first though i think..
Hello Lisa,
I am about halfway through SOAFFG. I love your honesty and curiosity. My brain works that way, too, which is why I find your book so relatable even though 20 years separates us. Keep up the good work!
C
Dear Lisa,
I found your book by "accident" as I have many other books that have really changed my life.
I am one of those people who believes that everything happens for a reason...so when I discovered your book (face down) on top of a pile of parenting books (very OUT of place) I turned the book over--read the title and bought the book without another thought.
I read books because I am looking for inspiration, knowledge, and I have a need for self-improvement and soul searching. Most would be shocked that I am only 25--yes, I feel like I have lived like forever...old soul or something..frankly sometimes I am exhausted!
Anyway, I began reading your book Lisa because the truth is I have the fat girl mentality even though most would not think of me in that light (although I am far from a size two I carry the weight I do have well).
Everything that you talked about was honest, insightful and at times hilarious. I am not even done reading but was thrilled to find that you have a website, and just could not wait!
The truth is I have been hiding under layers of fat for a long time--and even when they started melting away that was all I could focus on--How sad it was for me to find how much I hated my body and could not focus on anything else but that.
While I was other things--the smart girl, the caretaker, the responsible one--all that matter was I was/felt/made myself all about being the FAT girl.
I failed to really SEE myself, go after what I wanted and instead focused on how unhappy I was because of my weight--thinking if only I was thin happiness would POOF appear. Mostly I was (am??)afraid to really live.
Thank you so much for putting everything into perspective and voicing my thoughts, fears, shortcomings and giving me hope that I too can become a former fat girl not just in body but in mind and spirit.
I consider you a friend as well, even though we have never met (ever thought of a former fat girl CONVENTION??)
This is the Year of Change for me, and it began with your book.
Thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU!!
Always
Jess
ps. already gave you a review ; )
Lisa,
I just posted a review on Amazon (I'm AmazonAddict!) for your book. But I didn't mention 2 things that I should have. First, I finished reading your book early this afternoon; I started it last night at about 10pm! And second (and this should have gone in my hastily written review), you have motivated me sooooo much to work out more. I've mostly been focusing on diet and have been working out when I find time. But reading your book has inspired me to get my butt to the gym on a more regular basis. Right now, I usually just walk, but occasionally I run (just for 15-20 mins though). My dream is one day to run a marathon (by the way, 10?! I'm soooo impressed!) and I'm so motivated now to start running more so I can get better and one day soon run my own marathon! Thanks for such an honest and motivating story!!
PS. I'm so excited to have found your blog. I'm definitely bookmarking this page!
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