Something to Snack On
Hi--
OK, so this has been the craziest two weeks.
--I did a TV taping for Fox 6 in Bham
--I had pre first-day-of-kindergarten teacher meetings, open house, crazy purchasing of supplies and uniform stuff
--I experienced the requisite last-day-of preschool meltdown (uh, that was me, not Johnny)
--I did an interview for Quick and Simple magazine (for which next week I have to do a photo shoot! with my family! including my very unruly dog!) And no, still don't know which issue it will be in ...
--I had my mom and nephew in town for a last-days-of summer visit ...
--We had Johnny's first day of kindergarten! No tears, no problem! (for him, not me!)
--I did a little talk at the Mountain Brook Library here in Bham--on Johnny's first day of school (VERY poor planning on my part)
--I flew to New York to do the CBS Early Show (my FIRST national TV thing!) for Health magazine (no, unfortunately NOT for FFG ... but I'm still hoping!)
All the while doing my day job and trying to still grapple with the issue I wrote about a couple of weeks ago. Still completely in the middle, on the edge, not knowing what to do. But things are becoming somewhat clearer. Last week, I didn't sleep much at all. This week, I'm sleeping well (not counting being up at 2 a.m. this morning for about an hour). But i am trying to stand firm. I am trying to put ME (and my family) first ... despite subtle attempts to make me feel bad for doing so. Thank you all for your messages of strength and for believing in me ... you all help me keep believing.
I wanted to write a bit about an issue I'm having with Johnny. You know, he's in kindergarten from 8-3 every day, and then he goes to after-care (I'm trying to pick him up no later than 5:15, which is causing some issues at work). He has a snack in the a.m., which I pack (yogurt, fruit, peanut butter crackers), because he doesn't eat lunch until 12:30. But every day at aftercare, there's a box of cookies, grape juice or KoolAid or something, and graham crackers and peanut butter--which they can eat at will. On top of that, there's a whole closet full of single-serving bags of chips, Rice Krispie treats, you name it.
Now, I know my son. He's going to eat himself sick on that crap (excuse me!). I've talked to him about it--said he should only have one treat, and he has agreed. But yesterday, he had ... two chocolate chip cookies, and had just grabbed a third when I walked in to get him. He said "Sorry, mommy. But it's SO hard." Well, of course it's hard. He tried to blame the women who work there for making it available, and I told him it was up to him to choose what he was going to eat.
Now, I'm not freaking out about this. We have stopped giving him treats at home, except for on the weekend. Which kind of pisses me off because I've found that I LIKE making him happy that way. In a way, though, it's good to be challenged as a mom, and as a Former Fat Girl, to break that cycle of using food to reward and to show love. It's always been about spending time together, about interacting, about playing and reading and dancing and telling stories. But I'm realizing now that food is not an option (there's that phrase again!) as a way to reward my little guy, I have had to be even more creative.
But I have to say, it makes me angry that we have to deal with this in an age where childhood obesity is making headlines EVERY DAY. Why is it necessary for kids to have such bounty available to them? I think there are very few kids who can stop themselves from overindulging. After all, where did the whole cliche "Kid in a candy shop" come from?
I have to figure out how to handle this in a way that's not confrontational ... that's helpful. Part of this is, I think, getting to know the other parents and whether they have an issue with it. Maybe if I'm not the only one, we can make a change. We have to stand up for our kids. We have to use our power as parents.
I mentioned this situation at work, and another mom of older kids said that I just had to get used to not having control over what my son eats. Maybe that's part of it. I'm not saying my son doesn't deserve a couple of cookies after school. But as many as he wants? No. There's no reason for it.
You guys who don't have kids--sorry for my venting. But this is really ALL our problem. When I was a Fat Girl, I could look around in my class ... in third grade, fourth grade ... and there was maybe one or two other kids who were as big (or bigger) than me. Now, half the class in some cases are overweight--and much more overweight than I was. These kids deserve a better life, just as we do. They deserve some help from people who know what overeating does to your body, your health, your WHOLE LIFE. A recent study showed that overweight girls were less likely to go to college, less likely to seek professional jobs, etc. THAT WAS ME. Oh, I went to college, but I held myself back in so many other ways.
Teaching healthy eating habits and backing that up with behaviors (as my dad would say "putting your money where your mouth is") is a way of empowering kids BEYOND just the physical. Let's work together to make it happen.
Thanks for reading--
Lisa D
OK, so this has been the craziest two weeks.
--I did a TV taping for Fox 6 in Bham
--I had pre first-day-of-kindergarten teacher meetings, open house, crazy purchasing of supplies and uniform stuff
--I experienced the requisite last-day-of preschool meltdown (uh, that was me, not Johnny)
--I did an interview for Quick and Simple magazine (for which next week I have to do a photo shoot! with my family! including my very unruly dog!) And no, still don't know which issue it will be in ...
--I had my mom and nephew in town for a last-days-of summer visit ...
--We had Johnny's first day of kindergarten! No tears, no problem! (for him, not me!)
--I did a little talk at the Mountain Brook Library here in Bham--on Johnny's first day of school (VERY poor planning on my part)
--I flew to New York to do the CBS Early Show (my FIRST national TV thing!) for Health magazine (no, unfortunately NOT for FFG ... but I'm still hoping!)
All the while doing my day job and trying to still grapple with the issue I wrote about a couple of weeks ago. Still completely in the middle, on the edge, not knowing what to do. But things are becoming somewhat clearer. Last week, I didn't sleep much at all. This week, I'm sleeping well (not counting being up at 2 a.m. this morning for about an hour). But i am trying to stand firm. I am trying to put ME (and my family) first ... despite subtle attempts to make me feel bad for doing so. Thank you all for your messages of strength and for believing in me ... you all help me keep believing.
I wanted to write a bit about an issue I'm having with Johnny. You know, he's in kindergarten from 8-3 every day, and then he goes to after-care (I'm trying to pick him up no later than 5:15, which is causing some issues at work). He has a snack in the a.m., which I pack (yogurt, fruit, peanut butter crackers), because he doesn't eat lunch until 12:30. But every day at aftercare, there's a box of cookies, grape juice or KoolAid or something, and graham crackers and peanut butter--which they can eat at will. On top of that, there's a whole closet full of single-serving bags of chips, Rice Krispie treats, you name it.
Now, I know my son. He's going to eat himself sick on that crap (excuse me!). I've talked to him about it--said he should only have one treat, and he has agreed. But yesterday, he had ... two chocolate chip cookies, and had just grabbed a third when I walked in to get him. He said "Sorry, mommy. But it's SO hard." Well, of course it's hard. He tried to blame the women who work there for making it available, and I told him it was up to him to choose what he was going to eat.
Now, I'm not freaking out about this. We have stopped giving him treats at home, except for on the weekend. Which kind of pisses me off because I've found that I LIKE making him happy that way. In a way, though, it's good to be challenged as a mom, and as a Former Fat Girl, to break that cycle of using food to reward and to show love. It's always been about spending time together, about interacting, about playing and reading and dancing and telling stories. But I'm realizing now that food is not an option (there's that phrase again!) as a way to reward my little guy, I have had to be even more creative.
But I have to say, it makes me angry that we have to deal with this in an age where childhood obesity is making headlines EVERY DAY. Why is it necessary for kids to have such bounty available to them? I think there are very few kids who can stop themselves from overindulging. After all, where did the whole cliche "Kid in a candy shop" come from?
I have to figure out how to handle this in a way that's not confrontational ... that's helpful. Part of this is, I think, getting to know the other parents and whether they have an issue with it. Maybe if I'm not the only one, we can make a change. We have to stand up for our kids. We have to use our power as parents.
I mentioned this situation at work, and another mom of older kids said that I just had to get used to not having control over what my son eats. Maybe that's part of it. I'm not saying my son doesn't deserve a couple of cookies after school. But as many as he wants? No. There's no reason for it.
You guys who don't have kids--sorry for my venting. But this is really ALL our problem. When I was a Fat Girl, I could look around in my class ... in third grade, fourth grade ... and there was maybe one or two other kids who were as big (or bigger) than me. Now, half the class in some cases are overweight--and much more overweight than I was. These kids deserve a better life, just as we do. They deserve some help from people who know what overeating does to your body, your health, your WHOLE LIFE. A recent study showed that overweight girls were less likely to go to college, less likely to seek professional jobs, etc. THAT WAS ME. Oh, I went to college, but I held myself back in so many other ways.
Teaching healthy eating habits and backing that up with behaviors (as my dad would say "putting your money where your mouth is") is a way of empowering kids BEYOND just the physical. Let's work together to make it happen.
Thanks for reading--
Lisa D
9 Comments:
Hi! Thanks for commenting on my blog today. I'm definitely going to check out the book you mentioned. And your book looks like it would be helpful, too! I am definitely going to have to look into this...
Thanks again! :)
Oops! Sorry about the mix-up! Someone left me a comment about YOUR book. When I came to your site the first time, I had assumed that it was you that left the comment about someone else's book. lol
Now that that's cleared up...lol
Hello Dearest Lisa,
I don't have kids, but I have many nieces and nephews and a couple of the boys are terribly over weight. I am heartbroken that they have huge stretch marks on their young bodies. I remember when I was in the 6th grade, I was the heaviest in my class. I was so ashamed and somehow everyone found out.
I agree with you whole heartedly that kids weigh too much. Yesterday while grocery shopping, I saw a very obese woman in the store, followed by 3 overweight children. My heart just sank. My two nephews eat way too much and then have huge snacks right after dinner. I, too, am guilty of "rewarding" them with food and I'm am changing that behavior daily. It's hard when my sister gives them whatever they want.
Even though I am 47, I can immediately be taken back 35 years to that heartbreaking time whenever I hear a child being ridiculed about their weight and I feel the same compassion and love for the overweight adults too.
Continue being the warrior that you are because you help all of us to keep fighting the good fight.
My favortie saying is, "Evil fourishes when good men to nothing." I continue to be a huge fan and am so happy for your success. Thank you again for helping me save myself.
Kelly
Hi,
I'm a mom and I have had this issue in my life, also. Can you talk to the school is a non-confrontational way by proposing that they implement a "Healthy Snacking/Nutritional Awareness" program?
You could stress the importance of teaching kids the value of nutrition and how it will benefit them and influences their choices for a lifetime. Focus on health.
I wouldn't pose it like "you just fed my kid what!?"
If you are picking him up from school mention your idea to the other moms as you are waiting for the kids to gather their belongings and get their support. Then it's harder for the school to tell you no.
I think about this all the time with my son... the rest of my family and even his mommy thinks nothing of feeding him cookies and ice cream and treats constantly. I give him little packages of cookies or stuff (you know those 100-calorie snack packs?) once in a while, but they go overboard. I really really hate it but I never say anything because I don't want to be confrontational.
You are so right! When I was a kid, I was like the only overweight kid. OK, maybe there were a couple of us. Now, there are so many overweight and morbidly obese kids. I too sent my daughter off to kindergarten this year. I was amazed when I saw what they serve for lunches – pizza, chicken nuggets, corn dogs, tacos… Sure they have a salad option, but give me a break. It’s one extreme to the other. It’s bad enough the junk food is so readily available at all the fast food chains on every corner, so prominently displayed in grocery stores, and advertised on TV. If I was a kid now-a-days, I would be 300 lbs by the time I hit 8th grade and probably super obese by the end of high school. Junk food is a drug. It took me to the age of 40 to break my addiction. How can we expect these little kids to realize what the food is doing to their bodies?
We do have to use our power as parents. I’m grateful my daughter is a picky eater and will not go in the hot food line. I pack her a healthy lunch everyday. She gets a snack when she gets home, but it has to include fruit. Having this struggle all my life and the ability to finally overcome it this year gives me a better insight to help coach my daughter towards healthy living. But what about all those parents who are in denial? Who are suffering from their own addiction and are unable to help their own kids? How can we change what is happening to our society?
OK, I’m stepping off my soap box now…
so are you going to do a tour with your book? i would love to get mine autographed!
Giving the kids junk food at school without knowing the rest of their diets is irresponsible. How do they know the family health history? How could they justify giving sugar to a kid that has diabetic parents.
It's tantamount to giving them cigarettes Why do they feel that this is the best snack reward for children they aren't rearing. Since you are paying for after school care then you have a right to say something. I know here in California there is legislation dictating what a child can purchase at school. It shouldn't be any different after school.
I'm not a parent, but I was a fat kid that is still dealing with emotional fat issues. Why start kids down the cycle that is very hard to break out of?
I don't have kids but I totally understand the dilemma. For me it's about the kids in my extended family who look up to me. Once while on a trip home my 9 year old little cousin asked to go running with me becuase she was "getting fat"! She's 9!! I realized that I talked about weight and diet alot and began to see how I was influencing her. Since then I've changed to focus on being healthy rather than thin. It's made a world of difference for me personally and I hope she will be influenced by more positive outlook instead.
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